How do you deal with fault finders? We all have them, those wonderful people that find fault with us. And, oh, how we love them! 😊
The truth is fault finders hurt the ones they see faults in. We all have faults, we fail and miss the mark. Most of the time these are not intentional and when someone comes along and highlights your faults with anger or mockery or disdain, it hurts. Sometimes people put on a brave face and do their best to “suck it up” but there is a wound within the soul that desperately needs to be healed. And it does not matter if you are a man or a woman.
And what about all the times when we ourselves are the fault finders? How many times have we hurt someone with our words because they did not measure up to our standard? The truth is we all suffer fault finding and we have all been guilty of finding fault in others. Scripture says that offenses must come but woe to him through whom the offense comes! And remember, offenses are caused by the WORDS and ACTIONS that have been released. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can destroy you!
There is one person, however, that never deliberately looks for your faults. He does not look for them and neither does He base His decisions concerning you on them. In fact, He never examines you from a natural human perspective. He does not see anything wrong with you. He is NOT a “fault finder”. He is your Father. He is the one that made you, that loves you, and that sees you perfect, holy and pure.
This truth is often hard for us to grasp, especially when we are feeling hurt because of some fault finder. The problem is not with God but with the way we see and think about ourselves. We engage the words that have been spoken and very quickly join in the fault finding. This is how we justify and defend ourselves. However, this causes us to spiral into a realm that we should not be venturing into. 😊
The only way out of the “fault finders” web is to look into the eyes of the Father and listen for His reaffirming voice where He tells you who you are in His beloved. Listen for the Voice of the Lamb and not your own voice or the voice of the fault finder. Jesus is your Lamb. He is the one the Father examines for fault and failure on your behalf. He finds no fault in the Lamb and as a result you are found without sin, fault and failure, because you are in His Son.
Bringing your mind and emotions in line with the voice of the Lamb is not easy in the beginning but as you allow Him to declare His perfection, grace, and mercy over you it will bring you healing, peace, and deliverance from the hurtful, fault finding, words you have been subjected to. In this place you will find the grace to repent and restore your fellowship with the Lord. From there you can pray for others, bring them peace, and destroy the work of the enemy in your life and theirs.
There is NOTHING wrong with you! God says you are holy, sanctified, righteous, and without sin. That makes you perfect so lift up your head and march forth in the glory and the boldness of the Lord.
Scripture references: Matthew 18:3-7; Hebrews 4:15-16; Ephesians 1:4
Have a “faultless” day! 😊
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Should you run away from fault finders
It would be great if we could run away from fault finders but that would mean running away form ourselves as well. If the person finding fault with you is not a part of your family or a work colleague or another Christian, then by all means move away from them as this will protect your own heart. However, most fault finders are those who are close to you so you cannot run away. In these times I recommend that you learn to zip your lip and not retaliate. Chances are that is you do retaliate you yourself will be just as guilty of fault finding towards them. After that you have to deal with the negative words that have penetrated your heart. Forgive them and bless them. The reaffirm God’s love for you and let His grace and mercy wash over you until your emotions and thoughts are back under control. Repeat this process until your no longer have any offensive feelings towards them. Let love win.
How can we cope with fault finders?
The only thing you can do is pray for them and bless them. You do not have control over the will of another person nor their behaviour. Jesus said to pray for your enemies and do good to them that persecute (find fault) with you. When someone has hurt you it is not the person but the words that penetrated your heart that become the difficult things to deal with. Dealing with these words can only be healed as you honour the WORD of GOD concerning you over those words. You need to learn how Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit think about you and how they see you. Then you need to set your mind and emotions upon God’s opinion about you. Whenever the person that found fault about you face appears in your mind then you need to look at them in your heart and begin to bless them. See them as you would want then to see you. See them as though they have done nothing wrong and are dearly loved by the Lord, which they are. See then as forgiven by God and as perfect in His sight. This will help heal your heart and help you know how God also sees you – without fault and without blame in His presence. Always remember, we all have faults and as merciful as you would want God to be towards you, you need to also be towards others.
I hope this helps and pray for you to grow in the grace and understanding of the Lord.
I dont think its necessarily WRONG to confront. Ask them why is it always necessary to LOOK for a fault thats not EVEN there 🙂